Blinded by the Light
Back in early January of this year, actor Gary Sinese – of Forrest Gump film fame (among other accomplishments) – lost his 33-year-old son Mac to a rare form of bone cancer.
It’s only been more recently that Gary’s words at his son’s funeral have been shared with the public. He called Mac his heart and his all, who showed the world what courage and sacrifice and the gift of giving oneself to others truly mean.
A father’s undying love for his dying son.
Echoes of this are undoubtedly heard in today’s Gospel from John and, in fact, all of the Scripture readings for this Laetare – or “rejoice” – Sunday in Lent.
Chronicles reminds us that the Lord, the God of our fathers, had great compassion on his sons and daughters even though they kept turning their hearts away from Him and mocked his messengers.
Paul, in writing to the Ephesians, reminded the Church there – and us today – that God is rich in mercy and has such great love for us in and through Jesus Christ, His Son. Hard stop. No qualifications. Everything that comes to us from the Lord is all gift and all grace.
Gift and Grace.
We forget that often on the journey, don’t we? And yet, time and again, the Creator who loved us into existence and sustains us in his Mercy never stops trying to reach us and call us into deeper relationship with Him. He hungers to save us. He thirsts for our love.
There’s no coincidence that God’s dying words from the Cross were the very ones that reveal the depth of His love for us: I thirst for you to come back to me with all your heart, soul and strength.
And like any father who truly loves his children, that love comes with open arms.
Arms wide open like the Father welcoming back his Prodigal Sons (both of whom had strayed in their own ways).
Arms wide open like the Shepherd gathering lost sheep from the brambles and crevices of sin that ensnare us.
Arms wide open like St. Joseph gathering Mary and Jesus under his cloak and ushering them to safety from the terrors and evil that desperately wanted to destroy the Light within them.
A father’s love that is poured out to save, not condemn.
Too often we envision a God who wants to punish. A God who smites his people an anger. A God who sometimes acts like many of our own fathers in their human brokenness -- angry or silent or judgmental. You wouldn’t be necessarily off the mark if our reading of Scripture sometimes makes God appear to be that kind of Parent.
But John – the beloved disciple who leaned his head on the heart of Christ -- makes it crystal clear: that’s not the reality of God.
Even the God who uses the figurative snakes in the desert that we brought about takes the fruits of our own sinfulness and turns them into the means of healing and salvation if we so desire it. God wastes nothing in order to bring our hearts back to wholeness and to Him.
Peter’s denial. Mary Magdalen’s demons. The Israelites’ golden idols. The Cross upon which our sins crucified the Christ. All are transformed in God to become the instrument of truth and light and resurrection.
If we but respond to the Grace and the Gift of God’s Love. It’s ours for the taking. All of it. Every last drop.
A Father who loved the world so much that Jesus, His Son, came to save it, not condemn it.
And perhaps, then, it might be fair to say that the only condemnation comes when we refuse the Gift and Grace. It is not God who condemns, but we who create a hell of our own making (for ourselves and others) when we knowingly and willingly reject the mercy – the open arms of the Cross – being held out to us along the journey of life.
In love, we are free to choose: the light of mercy or the darkness of judgment and hate. The truth of compassion or the lies of selfishness. The love of God who wants to free us from sin or the tricks of Satan who wants to chain us to false freedom.
What, then, will we choose this very day? The Light that heals and transforms or the Darkness that pretends to soothe and comfort through false and empty promises? Will we allow the desert snakes we’ve entertained far too long to lead us back to the Lord’s unending mercy or simply keep running from their venomous attacks in the vast expanse of Satan’s isolating prison?
As Mr. Sinese wrote of his son’s final years of suffering with the cross of his cancer, he spoke of some beautiful truths that Mac, his son, revealed to his own fatherly heart. As a father, he would have traded places with his son in a heartbeat, but knew somehow that this journey of cancer and dying would be one that would transform his son into a saint … that the cross Mac carried would bring forth light and resurrection beyond the pain and suffering.
Beautifully, it did.
Although Mac was a trained drummer who loved composing music, he lost that ability as the bone cancer ravaged his body in the final year. Desiring to create up to the very end, however, Mac picked up the harmonica – the only instrument that didn’t require the use of his weakened arms and hands – and poured forth his heart and his pain in a new way.
That harmonica can be heard throughout an album that Mac himself produced as a lasting, final gift, his final act of love to his family and the world before dying.
To watch video clips of Gary gazing on his dying son creating beautiful music – new life – as he carried his cross of suffering is perhaps the closest I can come to understanding even a fraction of the Love the Father has for each of us … even when we wander far from Him – or better yet, especially when we lose our way.
A Loving Parent-God who never stops offering the Gift and Grace of His Love in and through His Son’s open arms. It’s ours for the asking. For God so loved the world …