Bless You
And Simeon blessed them.
Never has a simple line of Scripture jumped out at me as this one did as I prayed with the Gospel in preparation for a Sunday homily.
An old holy man who spent his days in prayer awaiting the Messiah blessed a young couple from Nazareth, telling them that their son would change the world by changing hearts and lives.
Simeon blessed them.
We as a Church have been wrestling with the meaning of “blessing” ever since our Holy Father Pope Francis issued a statement right before Christmas which appears to allow priests to bless couples in same-sex relationships.
There is much confusion now, and we need to address it as a family – as ones who walk with each other and love each other, even when we don’t see eye-to-eye or heart-to-heart on matters of faith and morality.
A holy family does its best not give-up or walk away from each other when disagreements or misunderstandings arise. Satan wants that; we as a Church can’t allow it.
Usually, I come to the center aisle to speak from my heart about the Word of God, hoping in some way that the Spirit moves me and inspires you to want to grow closer to the Lord. Such moments should both challenge and comfort.
I remain at the pulpit today not because what I share with you is any less from my heart but because it is important for me as your pastor-in-training to speak truth in a way that is clear, concise and faithful to Christ and His Church. Whether we realize it or not – and whether or not we fight against it – we are made for the Truth, for that very Truth sets us free to be holy … to bear Christ into the very world that often seeks anything but His Love.
I also stand here as a loving father would, for I take seriously the title that you bless me with. It is important to me that I embrace the true meaning of that word “father” – with the same understanding that is spoken of in the Book of Sirach. A father guides and corrects. A father is not afraid to step into the breech to save his children from confusion and danger.
A father loves his children back to God; for every father – both the priestly kind and the ones we call our Dad -- will be asked one day at judgment: How well did you lead the ones I entrusted to you back to Me?
I hope every father – every parent – can answer: without fear; with the Truth.
So in that spirit, then, comes some prayerful reflection on the understanding of God’s design for the human family as well as what it means to bless others, especially in situations that may not fully reflect the Word of God and the teaching of His Church. This sermon is nowhere near exhaustive; in fact it may only scratch the surface. And yet, may it lead all of us to a deeper desire to want to know God’s plan for our holiness; may it stir within us a desire to seek the Truth no matter the cost.
The question, then, that weighs heavy right now on all of our hearts and minds: Did Pope Francis just open the door to allowing same-sex couples to having their relationship blessed in the Catholic Church?
To some of you here today (or reading this on-line), it might be happy news. To others, it is confusing. To a few, it’s enough to make you say “I’ve had enough.”
Where ever you may stand right now, know that Christ is with us as we discern how the Spirit is moving … but also how Satan is trying to divide us. Now is not the time to become wishy-washy. Now is the time when we can’t be afraid to step into the breach and live the Word boldly.
So here is the Truth:
Our Holy Father did not change the teaching of the Church about the sanctity of Marriage, the union of one man and one woman who lay down their lives for each other in love – and for life -- in order to become saints and, at the same time, share in the procreative act of welcoming children. Francis can’t, nor can any Pope, change that teaching, ever. Scripture clearly defines it, from the Book of Genesis to the words and actions of Jesus Himself, who clearly stated: “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Two become one flesh in love, and that love creates new life. That’s Marriage as defined by the Lord. What happens with the words of union between husband and wife at the altar is beautifully mirrored and completed afterwards in the physical marital embrace – not before it and not outside of marriage.
The Catholic Church is not anti-sex, as the world claims we are. If anything, we are upholding the dignity and incredible beauty of what that sacred act really is designed to be. We cry out as Church that it is not to be misused. Not weaponized. Not turned into a selfish pleasure. This act of such profound intimacy should never turn others into mere objects to satisfy our own selfish desires.
Although we often fall short of that ideal – and we do – that doesn’t mean that we stop proclaiming the ideal: The Good. The True. The Beautiful. Marriage is meant to be that.
Certainly, the world would claim – even many of us would claim, I’m sure -- that any couple, regardless of the gender, could and should be free to express their love that same way: with vows and acts of intimacy.
Can’t we bless that love, too? Love is love, as it is now popular to say. What does it matter, as long as two consenting adults commit their lives to one another?
I know a lot of folks are wrestling with this. Don’t stop wrestling, but at the same time, please be open to why the Church offers the teaching she does, always from that space of love for our souls and salvation.
Into this space of struggle, I share this story, for I promised this gentleman when I first became a priest that I would honor this request of his. It did not come in the Sacrament of Confession, so I can share his journey as we walk together at this time of our Church’s history. He wanted his story told.
Rob (not his name) sat with me and was honest in a way I wasn’t expecting. He came to me both exhausted and yet hopeful, for he had wrestled much with who he was and with his relationship with the Catholic Church.
I will never forget the first words to me that afternoon: “Father, I have same-sex attraction, and I now see that I have spent my whole life chasing after emptiness.”
I asked Rob to explain.
“I left the Church because it felt too restrictive and hateful,” he said. “I listened to what the world told me: that I would be happy if I indulged; lived my life loving whoever I wanted. I even married a partner who went behind my back for other affairs. No priest ever told me what sexuality and marriage really was meant for; if anything, most clergy just ignored my concerns when I brought them to the Confessional – overlooked the sin of using others -- and they never challenged me to live in such a way that sacrifice and chastity were the cornerstones of my life. Because of that, I was never truly happy. I was never really free.”
You know, we look at these things – sacrifice and chastity – as negatives, but in reality: how freeing and beautiful they are. Spouses are called to marital chastity, and everyone else – no exceptions -- is called to celibate chastity. It’s a challenge. It isn’t easy. But no one ever claimed that authentic love is easy.
No matter our vocation and state in life, no matter who we are attracted to: if sacrifice and chastity aren’t the bedrock of the person we are becoming, then we aren’t really loving or being loved in the way we have been created to do.
Our love must mirror God’s. Our love must stay true to His Word. If it doesn’t, then it would be fair to say that nothing God has commanded of us really matters in the end. His teachings on forgiveness and mercy, compassion and justice really become meaningless – chaff in the wind.
Either His Word is Truth or it isn’t. We can’t pick-and-choose only what makes us comfortable.
I recognize that many of us have family and friends, sons and daughters, who identify as gay or are in same-sex relationships. Maybe some of here are.
Know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are loved and welcomed here. The Church needs your heart, your compassion, and the cross you often carry to help us become holy. And yet, this same Church that needs you and loves you also challenges you to live in such a way that your chaste, celibate love changes the world by how you love God and others through sacrifice. Through laying down your life for the Kingdom.
Will it be difficult at times? Yes. Will it feel lonely? Definitely. Is it the path to holiness? Beyond a shadow of a doubt.
In the end, then, the Church must be careful in the way she blesses those who are called to live chastely and celibately, no matter what their sexual orientation may be. Perhaps the Church needs to remind all of us – ALL of us – that in a world saturated by cheap and easy relationships – the Way of the Cross: the way of sacrifice and chastity – is the true way to the Father.
It is that we can and should bless, as Simeon did in the temple: sacrifice and chaste love.
For now, on this Holy Family Sunday, let me simply end by saying this: As your spiritual father, I do love you and desire nothing but your holiness. I want you to fall in love with Jesus Christ in such a way that you are willing to bear your cross (whatever it may be) and follow after him daily. I want the Truth to be your guiding Light and the way back Home. Don’t ever be afraid to take on the challenge – and the great gift – of becoming a saint. It’s what makes all of us as the Church a Holy Family.